Continuous Reaching

If you were to ask me what I’ve been learning, I could probably write a book. Between studying and learning more of the Bible for myself and in preparation for teachings, learning of all the things that need to get done before our first child comes, as well as learning how to be a better leader, and many other things, there are a lot of things that are filling my mind at any given moment! I feel like I’ve been stretched past the comfortable, but find myself strangely at peace.

I remember the first Bible course that I led in 2010.  It was 3 months and we were blessed with 6 students. In preparation for this course I had staffed a 3 month Bible course to see how it worked so I could run it myself. I had a little leadership experience with leading Homes of Hope builds, but other than that was pretty inexperienced. I remember being filled with anxiety because I thought that everything rested on me as the school leader! I thought I was the one who had to do everything and make everything happen! (I was blessed with the help of 2 amazing staff members, but I still felt like I had to do everything). For a guy who never had a major position of leadership before in his life, and who was feeling overwhelmed and totally alone, I really wanted to quit the school right in the middle. I wanted to jump ship and head for Canada! God taught me a lot in that time and I was able to see that I needed to rely on God rather than myself, but just looking back it’s so encouraging to see where God has brought me.

It seems in life, as time goes on, the problems just get bigger! The choices get harder! Situations may seem more difficult! All those trials, all those tough times, and problems helped prepare me for all the trials, tough times and problems that will happen in the future! Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not wishing hardship on myself, I’m just being realistic in thinking that not everything is going to be peachy or hunky dory. The key though is to be walking with God through all those situations and problems. I’ve seen that as I’ve walked with God through trials, problems, and so many other things, I’ve realized that I’m able to trust God to not only help me, but also to handle the situation! I think I can honestly say that since that first Bible course that I’ve led, I’ve grown in my understanding of what it means to trust in God in order to get through the day. The past couple of months I’ve had to handle a couple of situations that I didn’t have a clue on how to handle, but what came out of my mouth seemed to be pure genius! I definitely wasn’t the genius because I had no idea how to handle the situation, but God was! He used me to speak truth into  situations, and I believe that this comes from a mindset of reliance on God rather than myself.

Did I learn this over night?

Heck no!

It was a process that took years to figure out!

Do I have it all figured out now?

Haha, NO!

There are still areas in my life that I’m fighting God for control over. It seems silly because I’ve seen Him act so faithfully in so many areas and yet I’m still wanting to control different things in my life. But one by one, and day by day, I’ll walk out the process of releasing control to God, trusting in Him, relying on Him, and feeling that peace that comes when you know God is near.

I’ve been learning or re-learning that a relationship with God is a process, it’s a journey. I can’t expect results overnight, sometimes that happens, but more often than not, it’s a steady, continuous battle, that’s uphill with new challenges and problems. The only way I can get by them is by pressing into God.

So here I am a little over 2 months into a 9 month school, almost 3 months in with a pregnant wife, about 6 months away from having absolutely no idea what I’m doing as a new father, all of this could make me feel overwhelmed, full of anxiety and fear, but I feel strangely at peace because I know God will be close by me through it all and all I have to do is reach for Him and He’ll reach back.