I ain't no Super Hero

I’ve always enjoyed superhero’s and always day dreamed about being one. The man sailing through the sky with incredible strength to come in at the last moment and save the day, catch the bad guy, and get the girl.

Well I did get the girl, but I can’t sail through the sky like Superman, haven’t caught any bad guys recently, and very rarely do I save the day at the last moment…if ever.

What am I getting at? Well for one, I’m showing you that I do on occasion use poor grammer of which my wife corrects me. But what I’m really trying to say is that I have been humbled - and it was hard.

A little context: I’ve recently just become a father and also just finished leading a nine month Bible course with University of the Nations. I can’t describe how awesome it is to be a father or how awesome it was to see 16 students graduate with a better understanding of God’s Word and who God is!  I can, however, describe how hard it was…it was an immense task, one that I got through only because of the grace of God.

My wife and I were overjoyed with hearing we were going to be parents! Our son is a big, happy, healthy boy who almost made an early entry, which was challenging in and of itself, but he ended up making it the entire 9 months. Blake Finnegan Wilson was born May 30 at 9lbs. 14oz. and after seeing my wife give birth to our son she became my hero along with Jesus and my parents.

While leading the school I quickly realized how much I needed the Lord in every situation. I didn’t have enough wisdom when situations came up and I found myself saying things that surprised myself when they came out of my mouth. There were so many times that I was grateful for God giving me the wisdom in the moment that I was in need.

Then Blake arrived and I thanked God for coffee and for the strength that He gave me to get through each and every day.

I always knew that I wasn’t capable of everything, but this past season I clearly saw my limitations and it was humbling. I realized just how small I actually am and how much I am in need of God every day. It’s one thing to know and another to see and experience.

Because of this my identity needed adjustment. My identity took a beating because it wasn’t completely founded in being a child of God. I can rest in the fact that God is my Heavenly Father and that it doesn’t really matter if I have enough wisdom because my identity isn’t in what I know or what I can do but it’s found in God! The only thing that matters is the Lord and who He says that I am.

Continuous Reaching

If you were to ask me what I’ve been learning, I could probably write a book. Between studying and learning more of the Bible for myself and in preparation for teachings, learning of all the things that need to get done before our first child comes, as well as learning how to be a better leader, and many other things, there are a lot of things that are filling my mind at any given moment! I feel like I’ve been stretched past the comfortable, but find myself strangely at peace.

I remember the first Bible course that I led in 2010.  It was 3 months and we were blessed with 6 students. In preparation for this course I had staffed a 3 month Bible course to see how it worked so I could run it myself. I had a little leadership experience with leading Homes of Hope builds, but other than that was pretty inexperienced. I remember being filled with anxiety because I thought that everything rested on me as the school leader! I thought I was the one who had to do everything and make everything happen! (I was blessed with the help of 2 amazing staff members, but I still felt like I had to do everything). For a guy who never had a major position of leadership before in his life, and who was feeling overwhelmed and totally alone, I really wanted to quit the school right in the middle. I wanted to jump ship and head for Canada! God taught me a lot in that time and I was able to see that I needed to rely on God rather than myself, but just looking back it’s so encouraging to see where God has brought me.

It seems in life, as time goes on, the problems just get bigger! The choices get harder! Situations may seem more difficult! All those trials, all those tough times, and problems helped prepare me for all the trials, tough times and problems that will happen in the future! Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not wishing hardship on myself, I’m just being realistic in thinking that not everything is going to be peachy or hunky dory. The key though is to be walking with God through all those situations and problems. I’ve seen that as I’ve walked with God through trials, problems, and so many other things, I’ve realized that I’m able to trust God to not only help me, but also to handle the situation! I think I can honestly say that since that first Bible course that I’ve led, I’ve grown in my understanding of what it means to trust in God in order to get through the day. The past couple of months I’ve had to handle a couple of situations that I didn’t have a clue on how to handle, but what came out of my mouth seemed to be pure genius! I definitely wasn’t the genius because I had no idea how to handle the situation, but God was! He used me to speak truth into  situations, and I believe that this comes from a mindset of reliance on God rather than myself.

Did I learn this over night?

Heck no!

It was a process that took years to figure out!

Do I have it all figured out now?

Haha, NO!

There are still areas in my life that I’m fighting God for control over. It seems silly because I’ve seen Him act so faithfully in so many areas and yet I’m still wanting to control different things in my life. But one by one, and day by day, I’ll walk out the process of releasing control to God, trusting in Him, relying on Him, and feeling that peace that comes when you know God is near.

I’ve been learning or re-learning that a relationship with God is a process, it’s a journey. I can’t expect results overnight, sometimes that happens, but more often than not, it’s a steady, continuous battle, that’s uphill with new challenges and problems. The only way I can get by them is by pressing into God.

So here I am a little over 2 months into a 9 month school, almost 3 months in with a pregnant wife, about 6 months away from having absolutely no idea what I’m doing as a new father, all of this could make me feel overwhelmed, full of anxiety and fear, but I feel strangely at peace because I know God will be close by me through it all and all I have to do is reach for Him and He’ll reach back.

Reflecting on This Past Year

 It's almost been a year of marriage, and increased responsibility. And let me just say its been a great year filled with God's faithfulness, His grace and mercy, challenges, failures and mistakes. 

Through it all I've been humbled, encouraged, beaten, victorious, and have learned some great lessons. 

Ive made mistakes and have called out to God. 

I've been apathetic and have been kicked in the butt. 

I've been weak and tired yet God strengthened me. 

I've been clueless on what to do and God's provided wisdom and the answer. 

I've been desperate and in need and God has provided.

God never fails! His love is amazing and He cares so much that he is willing to love us even though we've made  mistakes, use them for His purposes, and use them to teach us to do what is right.

God has used this past year to motivate me and prepare me for this next year. I feel like I'm bursting with ideas to help improve the Bible school that I've been working with. And I feel so excited to have opportunities to teach others the Bible and to implement ideas that I've learned from mistakes that I've made this past year. God has given me a desire and passion to see others know the Bible so that they can Know God better and to pass on what they've learned. This excites me and I feel so privileged to be a part of what God is doing here in Tijuana.

No matter what position I hold, responsibilities I carry, these things don't determine my spirituality. They don't determine what my relationship with God is like. My spirituality, my relationship with God, is determined by my internal self rather than my external circumstances. I've learned that I need to live in the basement, to live like Paul, upon the foundation which is Christ. Paul was not swayed by the external circumstances. He stayed true to His inner self, which was Christ. I've been called to do the same.

I love doing what I do :)

Have you ever looked back and thought, “It’s December already! Where did the time go?” Well that’s what I did just recently as in, in the past 2 days ;)

But it’s true! Time has flown by. Three months ago we were just starting the CSBS and now we are almost done a third of the school! It’s hard to believe and it’s been a lot of work.  I’ve had to relearn some things, but it has been an excellent experience so far! To be honest, I think my appreciation for the Bible has only grown! In my studies, I have been reading and thinking about the effect of the Bible, and let me just say that it excites me when I think about the possibilities that can come out of a school that is totally focused on teaching Truth to students and the community. Our students have been doing so great in the school and have loved it so far! It has been great to see them jumping up and down and excited about the Bible! So many Christians today think that the Bible is dull and boring (I know from personal experience) but it is full of life and real stories that are everything but dull and boring!

So 3 months down and 6 to go :) But it will be a great 6 months! More stories, more prophets, more studies, and more truth that is going to be spread. That is what it’s all about - the Truth. That is what I want to teach and be transformed by. When people have a relationship with God and study His Word, how can they not receive God’s Truth? And when they get Truth, then they can’t help but be transformed by it. This is followed by the desire to share Truth with others. 

What’s so important about God’s Truth? It can change the world! Just look at history! Look at what Jesus did with the teaching of 12 disciples...(well I guess I would really only count 11). They helped change the course of the world! Then look at John Wycliff, William Tyndall, and Martin Luther. These men translated the Bible into common language, which changed the course of their countries and ultimately the entire Western World. Because the masses had the Bible translated into English in England by men like Wycliff and Tyndall the entire government shifted to reflect a system based on Biblical principles. And then when William Wilberforce came around, he was able to shift it even more in line with Biblical principles through the abolition of slavery in the English world. This is huge! An entire country was altered because people had studied God’s word, received a Biblical perspective, and applied it to their lives, work place, and country, which ultimately changed! 

This can still happen today! People can still know God’s Word for themselves, and from it know Truth and change the course of history by applying God’s Truth to their lives, their workplace, and their nations. This is what we were called to do! To be Christ like and to let our light shine! That’s what Wycliff, Tyndall, Luther, and Wilberforce did and you can too!

Law bringing Freedom

The law is something that binds. Every nation, culture, and people group have a Law. It is either written down or it is an unspoken law. Some people hate it, some people try to find loop holes through it, but law is everywhere. 

The Israelite nation were slaves. They were forced to work. The law said that they were property and needed to work for Pharaoh for the rest of their lives. Today we would call that an unjust law, but that’s what happened. 

Well in the book of Exodus we see that God brings the people of Israel out of Egypt and out of slavery. He gives them their freedom and He also gives them the Law. Why the Law? Well not only does the law give them an idea of right and wrong, it also protects the people, but more than that it protects the nation. Many of the laws seem ridiculous or pointless but many we can see value in today. But every law had a purpose. I can’t tell you the purpose of every law because it would take too long to write and because I don’t know them all ;) I believe that God does everything for a purpose. 

For example, in Leviticus 12 there are laws about purification after giving birth. Looking at that, one could think that God is being sexist against female’s because if a girl is born then the woman and child are unclean for a longer time period than if a boy is born. But looking at the context we can see that God is protecting the child. In Canaan, people worshipped a god named Molech and it was common practice to have human sacrifice’s to this god. The Canaanites would sacrifice babies to Molech and it was more common to sacrifice female babies. This was because the Canaanites had an agricultural society where males were more highly valued than females because of the hard physical labor it took to work the fields. God of course is against human sacrifice in regards to worshipping Him or any other supposed god. Many scholars say that these laws of purification after giving birth were to contradict this practice of sacrificing babies to the god Molech. By separating the child and mother from the rest of society for a time period, it gives them a time to not only recuperate physically, but also gives the mother and child more time to bond which would make the family less likely to sacrifice their child to Molech. 

God made and gave the Law to protect the people. Everyone was under the Law. There were even laws for future kings even though God was to be the King. God said that when the day came and Israel would choose to have man as king instead of God, that that man was to obey the law. He was meant to have his own copy of the law which meant that he was also under the law. We see an example of this with Saul and David, even though David broke the law with Bathsheba he still had consequences, he still had to answer to the law.

This is because the Law was above everyone. It’s because God made the Law. God didn’t want His people to come under the rule of another tyrant like Pharaoh! No! He made everyone under the Law so that the people would be protected against tyranny.  In history we see many examples of kings or dictators making the law so that they are  above the law because they made it. But with Israel it was God who made the Law, so no man was above the law but everyone had to answer to it. 

To me this shows God’s incredible foresight and wisdom in regards to human nature. Sin would eventually corrupt and the people would once again be left with nothing, either by someone else's doing or by their own. 

Today we are also ruled by law. We often do things that aren’t necessarily “illegal”, but I wonder what would happen if we looked at it in the light of God’s Law. Jesus of course fulfilled the Law, but there are still moral standards to live by. If anything, Jesus intensified the Law (Matthew 5). So my challenge? As a follower of Christ I am supposed to follow the example that Jesus gave. However, sometimes I put man’s law ahead of God’s law when I should be following God first. I know there is grace, but I do not want to take grace for granted. The Law was meant to protect the people, but it was also meant to protect a sacred relationship - the relationship that God always intended us to have, the relationship between God and man. That relationship is harmed when we sin, so by putting God first I am actively trying to protect that relationship as well. God is someone that I can not afford to lose touch with. After all, it’s relationship with God that brings freedom!

God's Reaching Hand

God is love!  It is something that is difficult to grasp and something that we often take for granted.  God's hand always seems to be reaching out no matter what has been done.  He is always ready for us to return before we are ready to return to Him!  Vishal Mangalwadi, author of The Book that Made Your World, writes that the ancient Greeks put limits on what God could and could not do.  The Greeks and Romans thought that the gods were separated from humanity.  Humanity was in misery, while the gods were above it.  They thought that the gods had limits, not to mention they weren't very interested in human problems.  God, however, is not limited!  He couldn't be because He created everything!  

God is also interested in our problems, in our misery.  If He wasn't, He wouldn't have let Jesus be crucified in order to lift man up out of his misery and sin, in order to be the bridge between us and God.  Throughout history we see many examples of God caring for mankind when He didn't have to.  Why didn't He have to?  I think it's because often times we bring hardship upon ourselves by making our own mistakes.  People often complain that God isn't fair, but this isn't the case - He is more than fair!  He helps, intercedes, saves when He doesn't have to!  There are many examples in the Bible, and I know God has interceded for me showing that He cares, that He thought of me.  Just look at the nation of Israel in the Bible.  In Exodus 19:1-8 we can see that Israel agreed with the covenant that God laid before them, but they didn't follow it.  They disobeyed and were therefore meant to receive judgement for their disobedience, but God had grace and mercy many times.  Within the same book, the same people who agreed to the covenant blatantly, went against it (the story of the Golden Calf). 

We see this even more in Judges 2:11-17 when God was again angry with the Israelites for their disobedience, but He still helped them and tried to bring them back to the covenant. This happened again and again.  Yes, God got angry.  Yes, He got involved and laid some punishment on the people of Israel. But it's purpose was for them to return!  God always wanted the people of Israel to return to Him!  He was drawing them to Himself by giving them a need for Him!

We often get angry with God for hardships, and we see punishment in the Bible as God being mean and unjust.  But this isn't the case!  I've been learning that those times in the Bible were God punished was actually out of love!  God was reaching out by giving the Israelites an opportunity to need Him! 

So God reaches out.  He reaches out to us in our need.  He is reaching out to us for relationship.  So what are we going to do about it?  Are we going to grab that hand that is reaching out for us, calling for us to come near?  I'll be honest, I have ignored that hand many times and it is time that I grab that hand and hold on for life.

Heavenly Culture Vs. My Own Culture

This Bible school is really making me think.  The closer it gets to finishing, the more I see that God is unlike anything this world has ever seen or thought of.  I think that all the cultures of this world have sought the divine.  The idea that there are no gods at all was a ridiculous thought until recently.  Cultures are always trying to figure out the heavenly culture, so that they can either copy it or become a part of it.  The Greeks thought that they could become like the gods by becoming wise and growing in wisdom.  They figured that they would reach a turning point in their lives because of the amount of knowledge that they possessed.  With that knowledge they would be transformed into a being like the gods. This is what drove them.

            When Christianity came along, many of the Greek-thinking believers were of the same mindset. They figured the more they knew, the more they would become like God. They figured that the more they did, the higher level of salvation they would achieve. There were many other things that people believed, but what they all did was add their own understanding to what heavenly culture truly is.

            I don’t have the correct understanding of what Heavenly culture is.  I know that today’s church doesn’t either.  But here is what I do know: Mankind, since the beginning, has been searching for an understanding of the divine.  We have been searching for immortality.  We have been searching for power.  We are always searching.  All this searching is limited to what we believe or are accustomed to.  For instance, our current belief of what Heavenly culture is, is influenced by our culture of today. We add things to our Christianity because we are used to them, because they are in our culture and we perceive them as right, as truth.  These beliefs of right and wrong are so ingrained in us that we don’t even hesitate to second guess them. For example, a friend of mine from Cambodia said that the word “please” is reserved for beggars on the street. So when Cambodians ask for something, they don’t say please. Canadians, on the other hand, are taught that saying “please” is to be polite and if one doesn’t then he or she is considered rude. Is either culture wrong? Not in their own context.

            Well, no culture has it perfect. All cultures get it wrong sometimes. Canadian culture, Mexican culture, and Church culture.  All cultures get it wrong at times. So what does this have to do with the Heavenly culture? Well, the more I study the Bible, the more I realize that Heavenly culture is like nothing else on earth. It is like no other culture on earth. It is the supreme of the supreme and the only way that we are truly going to gain an understanding, to live out the Heavenly culture, is to seek God.  We need to become more like Him and less like ourselves and what our own cultures say about us. It’s just like what John the Baptist said.  As Christians, we basically give up the rights to our culture for the sake of the Heavenly culture. We said that we would become like the Heavenly culture instead of our own. It’s like becoming a citizen of a different country and renouncing the citizenship of a previous country. When becoming Christians we became a citizen of the Heavenly Kingdom, which has a Heavenly culture and we said that we would become like that Heavenly culture. But we often continue to go around letting our own cultures influence our Christianity when it should be our Christianity influencing our cultures.

            This makes me think about what I am letting influence my Christianity. Things that aren’t a part of the Heavenly culture, but things that I don’t even realize are wrong. So the call, the challenge, is to become more a part of the Heavenly culture. More of God and less of me and my culture.